Fighting Spirit
by char-tomio
Summary: After graduating, Hisagi Shuhei is forced to join the army and unwillingly becomes a soldier. As days go by, he feels that he's wasting his life. Saved by a letter from his bestfriend, Hisagi soon discovers something worth fighting for.
1. Chapter 1

**Fighting Spirit**

**Shuhei Hisagi x Momo Hinamori Fanfiction**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of the characters. Just mah interpretation of the song 'Some Nights' by Fun. I don't own the song too, but enjoy.**

**Chapter 1: First Days**

**Shuhei Hisagi's POV**

"Hey, don't cry.. I'll send you letters every now and then." I said rather sadly.

My companion didn't stop sniffling. She just looked at me with her teary eyes. I ran my hands through my brown hair. Damn. This was gonna be the last time I'll be able to do this. Once I leave, they'll shave my hair into some hideous army cut.

"Hisagi-senpai, please send me letters soon as possible.." she whispered.

"Of course. Oh yeah, by the way, I'll be able to go home every year, I guess." I smiled.

I looked at her once again. She was still frowning, with tears in her eyes. I guess that my words weren't really helpful.

The bus arrived. I stood up to leave but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I glanced at her.

"Damn it, Shuhei.." I thought.

I clenched my fists to supress my feelings of sadness and fear. As I take my steps towards the vehicle, she said something to me.

"A soldier must be brave." she whispered, "Please take care of yourself, Hisagi-san."

My heart felt like exploding in stress.

"I hope Hisagi-san will always remain the same." she said softly. "Even if the army shaves his perfect dark brown hair and he'll probably have more scars, I hope Hisagi-san stays the same. The 69 tatoo, the choker and armbands..And the warm and reliable personality everyone admires about him."

Tears formed in the corners of my eyes. I wiped them off with my long-sleeved uniform.

I brushed all thoughts as I proceeded and took my seat.

I gazed at her. She was motionless.

The bus coughed up and the engines started. Soon, she was meters behind us.

"Don't forget me, Hinamori Momo." I whispered.

My heart felt empty as I attempt to start a new life as a soldier.

.

.

.

I place my bag beside the bunk bed. I opened it and took out a picture of my parents. A picture of my friends and schoolmates at the Academy.

And a picture of one of the dearest friends I had. Hinamori Momo.

I gaze silently and remembered all the fond memories. I woke up from my trance when my roomate talked to me.

"From the way you look, it's obvious that you don't wanna be here." said a guy about the same age as me, if not younger. He had blonde hair and a lean figure.

I stared at him. He was right. I really didn't want to be here.

"You're right. This is the last place I'd wanna be." I replied.

He smiled.

"Guess I have someone to talk to." he continued. "My name is Izuru Kira. How about you?"

"Shuhei Hisagi. What brings you here in the army?"

"My parents."

"I see."

"And you?"

"I have high grades in Combat Arts, so the Academy recommended me here." I explained. "And I've got a relative here."

"Really, who?"

"I think he's a Lieutenant Colonel. Lieutenant Colonel Kensei Muguruma."

"Muguruma?" he asked, "Colonel Muguruma. No wonder the 69 on your face looks familiar."

I smiled. I never knew my uncle was pretty famous.

We continued our conversation until we were called out by some officers. We were going to have our heads shaved. Kira was ahead of me. By the time he went out, his once long blonde hair and prominent bangs were reduced to a short crew cut turf. I shivered nervously at the thought of having that hairstyle.

"Even if the army shaves his perfect dark-brown hair.."

I remembered Hinamori. I should've took pictures with her when my hair was still normal.

Regrets.

...

Sunrise began my first day in the army. The morning routines were tiresome, the meals were hardly any good and at night, you could hardly sleep, with the heat and mosquitoes.

It was going to be one hell of a year for me.

"Seventy-two..seventy-three..seventy-four.."

My attention was shifted to a fellow soldier that wasn't able to take a hundred push ups. He collapsed and medics were escorting him to the infirmary.

"Best of luck for me."

...

During free time, I would gaze at my pictures and do nothing. I daydreamed and daydreamed. I felt like I was wasting my life. I never wanted to be a soldier. I'd rather be a writer.

"..."

I stood up and looked at the sky. I felt that I was missing everything.

**Thanks for reading chapter 1. I'll improve the storyline.**

**For those of you guys who're familiar with the song 'Some Nights', you might**

**know where the story's going.**

** - Char Tomio**


	2. Chapter 2

**Fighting Spirit**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Bleach.**

**Chapter 2: Letters from the Sky**

The days are getting harder. From one hundred push-ups and sit-ups, we were doing three hundred and fifty. The weather was getting harsh and unforgiving. I even see Kira-kun buckle down from the intense physical training. We were being prepared for the upcoming war.

As for me, I couldn't care less whether we win the war or not. Fighting wasn't really in my spirit. I don't even have the slightest idea who were we fighting and whose side I was. Being soldiers, higher-ranking officers drilled in our heads that we were fighting for our country and for the citizens but it seems all so far.

My life was going nowhere. I needed solace.

One month passed. Then, something out of the ordinary happened.

"Oi, Hisagi." a fellow soldier called. He was Renji Abarai, a good friend of mine with shaven red hair and funny eyebrows. "You have a letter."

He was holding an old envelope. It was dirty and soiled, but I accepted it.

"Thanks, but who's it from?" I asked.

"Your girl." Abarai smiled as he left hurriedly. "I think the name is Hinamori."

Hinamori..?

I clutched the envelope and held it close. Hinamori's letter...

.

.

I locked myself in the room to read it. My fingers tremble in excitement as I open the envelope. I pull out the paper and read.

_.._

_Hisagi-san,_

_This is me, Hinamori Momo. How are you? I hope everything is fine. Everyone misses you._

_We all wish you the best of health and I hope you've made friends there, in case you get lonely._

_When everything's rough, don't hesitate to send letters. We anticipate the arrival of your reply._

_Hinamori Momo_

...

I embrace the letter. Her words gave me a reason to live.

I vowed to be a better soldier. For the country and it's citizens. Because my dearest Hinamori is one of them.

...

"Hisagi..Hisagi-kun, this is Kira. Open the door."

I hid the letter hurriedly as Kira was coming in. I unlocked the door and returned to my bunk bed, holding out a pen and a sheet of paper and started writing.

..

_Hinamori,_

_It's me, Shuhei Hisagi. I'm doing pretty fine here, no need to worry. I have friends here, so I'm not all that lonely, but I hope you still send me letters._

_Well, if you could, why not send me letters everyday?_

_Nah, just joking. But I hope we could continue this exchange of ours. I really miss talking with you during our Academy days. By the way, how's the academy? Hope it's still fine._

_Best regards to you, Hinamori. I await your reply._

_Hisagi Shuhei_

...

It's been a while ever since I wrote to someone. I smiled warmly as I sealed my letter into an envelope and wrote her address. Even if my letters were half-filled with lies, they were meant to prevent her from worrying.

...

A week of training passed after I mailed the letter. Everyone else told me that I was making improvements. I guess that's the effect of inspiration. Even if my everyday was grueling, I felt them pass quickly.

Kira and I were talking to each other as usual. I guess I fared better than Kira 'cause I found out that he hasn't recieved a letter from anyone since he enlisted.

Our conversation was cut short because of Abarai Renji's fierce banging on the door.

"Hisagi, letter." he called.

I quickly opened the door and grabbed the letter.

"Thanks, Abarai-kun."

I leapt to my bed and read my letter.

...

_Hisagi-san,_

_It's wonderful to know that you're doing fine. Now that I've recieved your letters, I'm not all that worried about you anymore. I hope you don't beat up your body too much from all that military training. I hope you're eating well, too. Could you tell me more about your experiences? I'm a bit curious._

_Hinamori Momo_

...

"Well, Hisagi-kun, what did it say?" asked Kira curiously.

"None of your business." I teased Kira, "It's your fault for not sending for letters to anyone."

"Well, if you could kindly lend me your pen and a piece of paper.."

"No way, Kira!" I yelled as I threw him a pillow and started writing.

...

_Hinamori,_

_You wanna know what the military's like? I don't think you wanna know, but it ain't that that bad. At least it's decent. The training's not all that hard and we get to eat three meals a day. Just make sure you respect and follow the officer's commands._

_And don't worry, I'm not the kind of person who gets into trouble._

_Hinamori, you don't need to worry 'bout me. My body's in perfect condition and as I told you, we eat three good meals a day. Well, enough about me, how about you?_

_How's school and stuff? You're pretty lucky 'cause you get to enjoy the outside stuff and 'everything. Oh yeah, since we're in training, we aren't allowed to get out of the camp, that's why I miss the outdoors._

_I await your reply,_

_Hisagi Shuhei_

_..._

I loved the certain feeling I get while sending letters. Especially from my bestfriend. I sealed the envelope and hid it in my bag.

"Hey, Hisagi-kun," Kira called, "Who mails those letters? Your girlfriend?"

My eyes grew wide. Girlfriend?

"Nah.." I said, almost stuttering, "Hinamori's my bestfriend during my days in the academy. She's a junior that I used to train back then."

"I see. But from the way you're talking, it seems that she's really special to you."

My fuse was getting shorter, even if it was a bit true.

"No, Kira." I replied, "She's a special friend 'cause she was the only one who talked to me regularly."

"But she's special to you in another way."

"The hell, Kira..!" I yelled as I jumped from the upper part of the bunk bed, attempting to give him a piece of my mind. I guess I didn't really like it when someone talks to me about Hinamori about that.

The day ended with Kira pleading me not to hit him with my bag.

The next day, I was punished for something I did.

Kira was unable to complete training. His arms gave up on him and he was soon lying on the floor because of overfatigue. The officer told him to stand up, but it was obvious that Kira was in a pretty bad shape. Kira didn't really stand out when it came to physical matters, he narrated to me. I pleaded the officer to exempt him from today's training but he wouldn't budge. I tried to convince him but he just yelled at me. His sermon was grueling, but my punishment was far more grueling. He told me to continue Kira's training. So instead of three hundred and fifty push-ups, I was given four hundred and ninety.

My arms were almost swollen at the end of the day. I went to bed with intense muscle pain.

"Sorry, Hisagi-kun." said Kira.

"It's alright." I replied. I never thought that the army was **that** firm when it came to orders.

"It won't happen again." he added.

Hopefully, it won't happen again.

The next day, the officer was reducing our three hundred fifty push-ups and sit-ups into two hundred to give way for combat practice. We were now being trained to use guns and firearms.

Unfortunately, my push-ups and sit-ups were still three hundred fifty and was required to finish them in the same time with the other guys. I guess the officer really likes me.

The effect was a really tired Hisagi Shuhei that couldn't even hold a rifle properly.

The week was terribly tiring. I longed for Hinamori's letters. Soon enough, her letters arrived.

...

_Hisagi-san,_

_I'm really amazed that you aren't bothered by military training at all. I guess you must be super tough, like what I expected. I hope you aren't tired from everything._

_You know what, Hisagi-san?_

_I'm really improving in Combat Arts. Thanks. I really learned a lot from you._

_Hinamori Momo_

...

Okay, how ironic. But still, at least she wasn't worried. That was enough for me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Fighting Spirit**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any character from Bleach.**

**Chapter 3: Bluffing**

Four months have passed. Military training was getting tougher and tougher.

Especially when you're at war with the instructor.

All I live for is Hinamori's replies. Hinamori-kun's letters. After almost a month of no replies, Hinamori finally decided to mail me.

_..._

_Hisagi-san, _

_Sorry for the terribly late reply. I was busy for our exams so I had a hard time going to the post office. But the good news are that I have finally gotten higher grades than ever._

_How are you now, Hisagi-san? I hope you're doing well._

_Hinamori Momo_

...

I sent a typical reply to her. However, I noticed that I wasn't content with her letters. So I decided to do something different. I added to my letter,

_Hinamori-kun, if you don't mind, I hope you could send me some photographs of everything that's happening there._

I smiled, hoping that it was enough. So then again, for a whole week, I waited.

...

The envelope I recieved from her was heavier than the ones I recieved before. In delight, I opened them and found a myriad of photographs sandwiched between the letter.

There were pictures of cherry blossoms blooming near the Academy, my old apartment room, Hinamori-kun's class picture, Hinamori-kun's test papers and awards, proudly flashing line of nine numbers in red ink and a picture of her taken by her classmate.

I laughed as I read the funny descriptions behind them. But I couldn't help smiling as I gaze at her photograph. I was surprised that she looked more mature now.

"Hey, hey, what's that?" Kira squealed with delight as he snatched the photo. "Your girl?"

I said nothing but grabbed the photo again.

"Well someone's obviously selfish. I was just wondering what your girl looked like."

"She's not my girl, Kira."

"Haha, not yet."

I felt my blood rising to my face.

"See, you're blushing." Kira said. "Honestly, haven't you told her your feelings yet?"

"I have nothing to tell her." I replied.

Kira sighed heavily.

"Look, Hisagi, with that killer looks of yours, any girl would easily throw herself in front of you."

"I'm not that kind of person."

"No, you've misunderstood me." continued Kira. "Look, she could easily fall for you if you tell her your straight intentions."

"Shut up, Kira."

"I'm helping you."

"You aren't helping. You're annoying me."

"You just find me annoying because you deny the truth."

"Look," I said. "Either you shut up or I'll ask the presiding officer to change my roomate."

"You'll regret it."

He sort of flashed a victorious look on his face. He was right, after all. I wouldn't even dream of sharing a room with all of the other men here.

"I have nothing to say, good night."

I covered myself with a blanket, just in case Kira keeps on talking. Luckily for me, he stopped.

But his words had impact on me. So there I was, thinking whether he was right or not.

...

"Hisagi! Four hundred push-ups and sit-ups!" yelled the instructor, punishing me for waking up late for morning exercise.

All thanks to Kira.

I was halfway done with my sit-ups when my uncle came to visit. Colonel Kensei Muguruma.

Every single one of us gave him a salute and greeted him.

"Sir, good morning, sir!"

My uncle looked at every single one of us and noticed me. He also noticed that I was far more exhausted than the others.

"What happened to Hisagi?" he sternly asked my instructor.

"He reported late for morning exercise." he replied. "So I added two hundred more push-ups and sit-ups for him."

"We've talked about this." he scolded. "The maximum number of additions is only fifty, Staff Sergeant. If you have some personal grudge against him, throw it away. A good trainor must not let his emotions get in the way of his duties."

Our officer looked somehow pitiful, getting scolded like that.

"As a superior.." added the Colonel, "..I'm very disappointed."

Then he turned to me.

"Hisagi, you have proven yourself well to stay quiet under hostile management of the presiding officer. As a reward, you get to have the same number of exercises as those men with you."

I tried hard not to smile in great joy. As respect, I just saluted.

"And if you continue your exemplary performance, you might get promoted ahead of the others."

"Sir, thank you, sir." I said as I saluted once again.

I don't know if that happened because I was related to him by blood, or was I deserving of it. Anyway, Kira is the only one who knows that the Colonel is my uncle.

My teamates bade farewell to the Colonel as he leaved. The Staff Sergeant saluted with a defeated look on his face. I sighed in relief and readied my body for Combat Arts.

...

All of us were trained at the shooting range. We were made to shoot a target at least 70 metres away. I had some difficulties doing those. I guess I could use a little practice at them. However, Kira-kun was one of the best. He was really a good sharpshooter and everyone looks up to him. Next, we were trained in obstacle courses and then,we were made to face one another. I have never lost to anyone.

The day was pretty good so I decided to write another letter to Hinamori-kun, bragging about my day.

...

_Hinamori,_

_I've got tons of things to tell you. Some officer got angry at me for some things I did earlier, but that doesn't matter anymore. Instead of 2oo push-ups, he made me do 350 push-ups and sit-ups every day. One day, when I woke up late for morning exercise, he made me do 400. But then, the colonel made a check on us and found out the officer's fault. Punishments were supposed to be limited to an additional 50 push-ups and sit-ups and yet, he gave me an additional 200. Talk about unfair. Then, he scolded our officer and applauded me for staying quiet under the officer's hostile treatment. He even told me that if I continue my great performance, I might be promoted earlier than the others. If that happens, I'll send you a picture!_

_Oh, and we're using all sorts of guns now. There'r rifles, snipers, handguns and others. We're being trained at a shooting range now. Well, I'm not doing so well because of my terrible aim but I guess I'll get better, soon. Soon._

_Anyway, you're part of the Academy's Women's Archers Team, right? Why not send me some tips to improve my aim. I'd really love that._

_The best shooter in our batch is my roomate, Izuru Kira. He's my one of my friends here. I haven't told you about him, right? Well, he's blonde and averagely tall. Maybe he's about the same age as you. I'll introduce him to you soon. Trust me, you'll like him._

_But even if he's a pretty good gunman, he's still no match for me in fighting. I faced him in battle and he couldn't even get near me. Not to brag, but I've never lost in fighting here._

_Sorry for bluffing so much. Well, you could bluff a lot in your reply, too._

_Tell me how amazing you became during these past few months._

_Hisagi Shuhei_

...

I smiled as I imagined what her reaction would be after reading this.

**Hey, hope you like the chapter. Anyway, their gun-wielding abilities were based on how good they were in using Kido spells.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Fighting Spirit**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any character in Bleach.**

**Chapter 4: Truth**

* * *

_Hisagi-san,_

_I'm really glad to know that you're having some good experiences there in the army. I knew that you'll be a good soldier. Congratulations._

_For improving your aim, I suggest you eat more vegetables, especially carrots. And another tip is to stop your arm from shaking while aiming. And imagine that the bullet is you, rushing out to meet your target. I hope they helped._

_As for me, I've really got nothing to brag about. I got promoted as the vice captain in the Archer's Team. I also get good grades now and I excel in Combat Arts, thanks to your tutoring. And I'm learning to play the piano, too. I promise that you won't regret listening to me when you come back._

_Because of that, I remember how you used to play the guitar in our Academy Days._

_Take care always, Hisagi-san and I hope you get the promotion._

_Hinamori Momo_

...

Her reply was as enlightening as ever, except for the guitar part. Everyone's ears bled when I played it, but she never minded or complained.

The letter she wrote made me more inspired to become a better soldier. It wasn't anything different. She was always the one who continued to inspire me. As always, I replied to her letter and waited for her reply.

...

_Hisagi-san,_

_I need to ask you for some advice._

_You know my best friend Hitsugaya Toshiro, right?_

_My classmates tell me that he's courting me. I don't understand. I'm still so confused. I don't know if it's right, but I think I'm still too young for that. Please tell me what should I do. I don't want to have a relationship with him yet but I don't want to hurt his feelings. You're already 19 years old so I guess you know all about things like this._

_Hinamori Momo_

_..._

I was sort of surprised when I read this. Surprise mixed with an eerie feeling that I haven't experienced for the longest time.

"Ah, you're jealous, Hisagi-kun?" teased Kira.

"No. I'm not." I sternly said.

"Of course you are." he explained, "That's why you asked me for advice, right?"

"Alright, alright, maybe I'm jealous, but I don't really know why."

"Because you love her so much to death." Kira laughed.

My eyes grew wide with disbelief and my cheeks flushed. I don't know what made my blood rise. Maybe embarrasment or anger at the blond idiot standing before me.

"Okay." coughed Kira, "Let me give a more understandable reason."

I just looked at him.

"You're jealous because the Hitsugaya guy will probably spend more time with your girl.."

"..Hinamori." I cut in.

"Yeah, whatever. Your little love rival will probably take away Hinamori-chan from you to the point that she stops sending letters to you and you'll end up lonely again. That's why you're jealous."

For the first time, i finally heard Kira-kun talk sense.

"And you do love her so much."

"Shut up, Kira." I growled, "So what do I do?"

"Basing on the letter, little Hinamori-chan doesn't like the boy all that much, so it's easy for you to tell her to stop seeing the boy."

"Won't I be depriving Hinamori-kun of her rights?''

"Nonsense." Kira brushed off the idea with the wave of his hand. "Look, why did she even send you this letter? It's obvious that she wants you to be involved. She likes you."

My face blushed again.

"No. That's impossible." I said. "Look, I have a tatoos and scars on my face. That's enough to make anyone recoil in terror."

"Nah, you don't know girls these days." reasoned Kira, "And your precious Hinamori isn't the type of person who looks at the outside."

"Guess so." I agreed silently. Anyway, Hinamori didn't mind someone like me tutoring her during our Academy days.

"Alright, Hisagi, get rid of your inferiority complex and start writing your letter." advised Kira.

I nodded.

"And you could even write that you're jealous." added Kira.

"Hinamori doesn't need to know that."

"You could always brush it off as a joke."

I don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I just tried.

...

_Hinamori-kun,_

_I've consulted my friend Kira-kun about your problem. Sorry about informing him about your personal problems but I'm just not the right person to ask. He's the real expert._

_He told me that if you don't like Hitsugaya all that much, it's best to explain your feelings. If he's really serious about you, he'll understand and wait._

_And if you get into a relationship you don't really like, you might regret it._

_P.S. And I might get jealous._

_P.S.__2__ Nah, just joking._

_Hisagi Shuhei_

_..._

Kira almost exploded when he read this.

"What's wrong with you, Hisagi?!" yelled Kira, "What's with this 'I've consulted my friend Kira-kun about your problem' part?!"

"Uh.."

"And what's with the P.S. squared?!"

"Something I just invented.."

"You write like an idiot! Girls aren't really attracted to things like that!"

"Never mind." I said, sealing the envelope.

"Tch, I really don't get you."

...

And so I waited for a whole week, waiting for her reply.

_..._

_Hisagi-san,_

_I followed your advice and it worked._

_Hitsugaya-kun said that he'll wait for my answer but I don't really think I have the right stuff in me to be with him. I just don't want to have a relationship with him._

_Tell Kira-kun 'thank you' for me, please. He's really an expert._

_._

_._

_._

I almost laughed myself to death with Hinamori's letter. But I almost had a heart attack when I read the last line of her letter.

_I even told him that Hisagi-san would be jealous if I had a relationship with him. It didn't really affect him all that much._

_Hinamori Momo_

My hands shivered and I froze in sheer embarrasment.

"Maybe it would be a good time to tell your feelings." suggested Kira.

...

I was nervously waiting for my letter to arrive. I followed Kira's suggestion to ask her step by step. The first thing I asked is whether she was ready to have a relationship with anyone. I prayed and prayed that she doesn't suspect anything from me yet.

...

_Don't worry, Hisagi-san. I'm not going to have a relationship with anyone because I think I'm too young for that. But if I find myself liking that person, maybe I'd give my consent. I'd want my first boyfriend to be someone mature. Maybe someone like you, Hisagi-san._

_..._

_"..."_

"YEAHHHHHHH!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, jumping up and down across the room.

Kira quietly reads a book while putting earmuffs.

"And he told me that he didn't love Hinamori." Kira whispered.

I laughed myself to sleep in feverish delight, attempting to forget that below that passage was a line that would easily kill my insanity.

_Just joking, Hisagi-san. I hope you don't think anything wrong about me._

_Hinamori Momo_

...

The next day, I replied.

_Hinamori,_

_I'm flattered to hear about that but I guess I'm not good enough for you. If you get your first boyfriend, show him to me and I'll tell you if he's any good._

_Hope you're doing fine._

_Hisagi Shuhei_

...

"Look, you're hopeless. When're ya gonna tell her you're true intentions?" Kira asked.

"I'm not good enough for her."

"There you go again with your inferiority complex. I thought you already made up your mind."

"Yeah, but she deserves better."

"No, she deserves you. Not many people think like that, Hisagi. Most guys would just go for someone they like, but you really think that she deserves better. You're the only one who knows what Hinamori really deserves, so I suggest you go for it, before anyone does."

He was right, but will she accept me? I'd be crushed if she doesn't, and it would be quite a shock if I'd ask her something like that.

.

.

.

I need to find a way to hurry up. Winter was fast approaching.


	5. Chapter 5

**Fighting Spirit**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any character from Bleach.**

**Chapter 5: Dilemma**

Our exchanges became more and more frequent, about almost two letters a week. And I kept asking her about relationships. I was falling for Hinamori more and more, but I couldn't bring myself to confess.

"I can do it later."

"I can tell her once I come back."

"She doesn't need a distraction from her studies."

"She doesn't need to know yet."

...

One day, General Yamamoto gathered all the troops. Everyone was asking why.

Me? I didn't really care.

At first.

"Listen everyone." General Yamamoto said, "The enemies have infiltrated the eastern part if the country. The army there needs more soldiers."

Cold sweat breaks through my body as I anticipate the general's words.

.

.

.

.

"Chosen soldiers will be stationed to the east and continue the battle."

My eyes widened. For a while, I felt that I couldn't move.

...

That night, I felt like crying. Fear gripped me tightly. I embraced the pillow tightly as I recite my prayers.

"What are you doing?" Kira asked.

I turned lazily and looked at him.

.

.

"What if I die in battle?" I asked weakly.

"Soldiers are bound to die in battle." he replied. "But they die protecting the country. They die with honor."

"You think I should tell Hinamori about this?"

"No, I think you better start telling her what you feel."

"If I tell her that I love her and she accepts my love, what'll happen to her if I die in battle?"

"No worries there, if the army sends some good soldiers.."

"Which might include us."

Kira's face suddenly became distorted. He paused for a while and thought. He knew I was right. We were doing good in training, so it was a possibility that we would be stationed to the east.

"Maybe."

I turned back again and thought.

"Hey, Hisagi. Colonel Muguruma's your uncle, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"How about you ask a favor?"

"Nah." I said. "Won't be easy."

"Just try."

I rolled my eyes and thought.

"Maybe you're right." I said as I closed my eyes.

The next day, I woke up early and prepared myself to talk to the Colonel.

...

"Sir, with all due respect, thank you for allowing me to have a private conversation with you."

The colonel nodded understandingly.

"Do you have a problem?"

"No, sir." I replied, "But, could you be kind enough to grant me a wish."

"And what is that?"

"Could I please leave the camp for a while to inform my parents personally about the war."

The colonel looked at me for a while and thought deeply.

"Shuhei.." he sighed, "I know that your parents forced you to join the army. I know that you're a bit bitter because of their decision. I also know that you're not ready to die. I can tell by the nervous look on your face."

I stood there, speechless. The white-haired man standing before me was not the colonel.

He is my uncle, Kensei Muguruma.

"I understand." he said, "But that request of yours is a very hard one. I'm afraid that I have to turn you down."

"But we were told that we could come home for Christmas.." I continued.

"Not now." he replied, "For now, we have to concentrate on toughening up the troops. Especially newcomers like you."

My face fell.

No...

"You can leave now."

.

.

In a minute, I left the room with a sullen face. I failed.

...

_Hisagi-san,_

_Christmas vacation's drawing nearer and nearer. If the army allows it, I hope you'll be able to spend Christmas here. If you're still angry at your parents for sending you to the army, you could always spend the holiday here at my house. As long as I get a gift from you._

_Anyway, what would you like for this Christmas?_

_Hinamori Momo_

...

My heart breaks as I read this letter.

I can't believe this. She's waiting for me.

"Hinamori.."

I don't know what to write anymore. I can't tell her that I'll won't be coming home because of some war. She'd be disappointed and worried. But I can't lie, either. She'll know the truth sooner or later.

I can't ask for more advice. It's up to me.

...

_Hinamori,_

_Sorry, the army didn't allow us to have Christmas breaks and I don't know why. These guys are so unreasonable! But the good news is that I'll be back in June. Just in time for your vacation. Don't worry, I'll send you a gift..in June, if you won't mind._

_Oh, about my gift? Anything would do. Give me something you know I'll appreciate. And if you could, I hope you could send it over as soon as possible._

_Hisagi Shuhei_

...

It looks good. It's alright. At least it will cover up.

...

The next day, as expected, I was one of those people who were going to be stationed in the east. The move was next week. That's good. At least I'll be able to recieve Hinamori's present.


	6. Chapter 6

**Fighting Spirit**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any character from Bleach.**

**Chapter 6: Scarf**

I recieved a tiny package. I could tell that it was already opened. I guess the army needed to do a security check.

A smile formed in my face as I pull out a neatly-knitted yellow scarf. Nestled inside the scarf was three matching armbands, or so I thought.

_..._

_Hisagi-san,_

_I was supposed to knit you a scarf myself, but since you wanted it as soon as possible, I just gave you mine. And I bought two armbands and a choker. I hope you like it._

_Advanced Merry Christmas,_

_Hinamori Momo_

...

I tried on the choker and the armbands. They fit well.

"Oi, what are those?" teased Kira, "From your girl?"

"Yeah." I proudly proclaimed.

"How nice." he responded.

"Of course." I smiled.

"Oh, yeah, the colonel wants you to report to his office as soon as possible."

"Huh?"

...

"Shuhei, I've recieved reports about you about your continuous letter exchange with someone. A girl, they said." said the colonel.

I nodded. But on the inside, I was shivering with fear. Who knows what he'll say.

"I bet your exemplary performance is all thanks to that girl." he added.

A tint of red reached my cheeks. I nodded shyly.

"And I think your reason for requesting a leave is because you wanted to see her."

My face became redder and redder as I think of what to do. After a few seconds of hesitation, I decided to tell him the truth.

"You know, Shuhei, I think you're right. I don't want you to half-heartedly fight this battle. I want you to have no regrets before you fight, or die. So I'll let all the chosen soldiers be able to have a one day vacation. Only one day. You will leave at 4:00 sharp. At exactly 20:00, the head will pick you up and you will be transported to the east quarters. You will be facing battle immediately. Be prepared."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was being given the chance to be free. It took me a while to swallow what the colonel was saying.

My eyes were filling with tears of joy as I saluted.

"Sir, thank you, sir!"

...

The bus was like the first time I rode it. It was filled with sad memories. But now, I was in extreme ecstasy. As time passed by, my heart beated louder and louder. The thought of Hinamori made me smile, no end.

"Hey, see ya later." Abarai Renji bade goodbye as he climbed down the bus.

I waved at him and smiled. I was the next one to drop off at the next bus stop.

...

As I went down from the bus, I saw`the bench where Hinamori sat by me as I waited for the bus to pick me up. I felt a sense of nostalgia. But I swept them away as I walked towards Hinamori's place.

While walking, all sorts of memories flooded me. I couldn't believe how much the city changed in such a short time.

I looked at my watch. 5:27. I gazed at Hinamori's house.

"H-hisagi-san..?!" a voice cut in.

I turned to that direction and saw Hinamori-kun, wearing a jacket. My face reddened as I saw her. She looked more mature. From the way she looked like, I guess she went jogging.

"Hinamo-"

To my surprise, she ran to me and buried her face into my chest.

I smiled warmly and shared my scarf with her. By doing that, I exposed my neck a little, revealing the choker.

"I missed you, Hisagi-san." she murmured.

I said nothing but embraced her tightly.

"We have a one day vacation." I said. "So I came to see you."

The girl was teary-eyed but smiling widely.

The only thing I could do was smile too as I tightly embrace her.

"Hinamori-kun.."

"Yes?"

"Could you spend the whole day with me?"

She nodded and buried her face in my chest. I guess she really missed me. But why?

I didn't want to answer anymore as she led me inside her house.

"Tea?"

"Yes, please." I said. I used to drink tea everyday and ever since I joined the army, I haven't drank tea for 5 months.

She placed the teacup on my desk as she sat next to me.

"My parents are asleep but don't worry if they wake up. They are already know you." she reassured.

I nodded as a response and drank my tea. Slowly, I mentally organized my plans for the day.

"Hisagi-san, what are we doing here?" Hinamori asked innocently, referring to the department store.

Hisagi smiled.

"I'll buy you a Christmas gift." I replied, "Just pick out whatever item you want and I'll pay for it, no matter how expensive."

She nodded, though I guess she didn't really like the 'no matter how expensive' part. I watched as she browsed through the shelves for something she liked. I could clearly see that she was having difficulty so I helped her. I just picked some things that she'd probably like. Eventually, she said that she wanted a scarf, because she gave hers to me.

"What color do you want?" I asked, looking around.

"What's your favorite color, Hisagi-san?" she asked.

"Huh..?"

"I want to wear your favorite color." she said.

I was a bit taken a back but I decided to tell her.

"It's blue." I replied. "Blue's my favorite color."

She smiled and picked out a light blue silk scarf with yellow adornments embroidered in the fabric. It would really fit her well. But she decided not to buy it when she saw the price.

"27,000 yen is too much." she said.

"Are you kidding? We get 30,000 yen every month." I said, grabbing the scarf.

Her face paled a bit in guilt, but I gave her a reassuring pat in the back.

"Here." I said, wrapping the scarf around her neck, though it wasn't as cold as earlier.

She accepted the scarf and smiled, though it took her a while to recover from the price of the scarf.

"Hisagi-san, where do you want to go next?"

"I bet you must be hungry, no?" I asked, patting her in the head. "Let's go eat."

I led her to her favorite store when we were still students. We ordered our favorite sandwiches and shared a cake.

"Hisagi-san, you still remember this place?"

"Of course. You told me that this was your favorite place."

"I can't believe that you still remember."

I flashed a victorious look and smiled widely.

"Let's go to the Academy next." I suggested.

"The school's closed for the holidays.." she said.

"Nah, there are still some staff there." I smiled, grabbing her hand.

She followed slowly as I held her hand confidently. My cheeks felt very hot.

...

"Wow, sure looks the same." I marvelled. I couldn't believe that I missed the academy. I led Hinamori inside the open gates and strolled around. I saw the old rooms, the canteen, the hallway and everything. But the most memorable was the Combat Arts room. Where I first met Hinamori.


	7. Chapter 7

**Fighting Spirit**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any character from Bleach.**

**Chapter 7: How I Met Her**

"Oi, Hinamori, focus!" yelled the instructor as he crushed Hinamori's defense. She lost grip on her sword and fell.

"I-i'm sorry, Abe-sensei.." she shuddered.

The teacher sighed and left her.

"You need some extra lessons, Hinamori." he added.

Then, the teacher spotted me and signalled me to come.

"Hisagi, you tutor her."

"Why me?" I asked sternly, uninterested.

"Because you have the highest grades in Combat Arts in your class." he replied. "Don't worry, you'll get extra points. Those points will go to the subjects you failed."

I cringed in embarrasment. I looked at the girl and sighed.

"Yes, sir. But please don't question my methods of teaching." I continued.

"Alright. By the end of the semester, I should see some improvement in her."

"Yes, sir."

The teacher left and I turned to her.

"My name is Hisagi Shuhei and I'll be your tutor in Combat Arts." I introduced, sounding as superior as possible.

"My name is Hinamori Momo. Nice to meet you, sir."

She was weak, or so I thought.

Day by day, we met after class in this room. And day by day, she continued to get knocked down by me. I don't know how much pain she endured. But I did that all to train her.

"Before you learn offense, you must learn defense." I warned sternly. "And before you learn all that, you must learn to analyze your enemy."

I was really harsh with her back then but she kept on coming for her daily lessons, or torture.

"Hisagi-san.." Hinamori called. The room was empty.

She sat down a cushion, waiting for her tutor.

I was in the hallway, talking to a classmate. He was inviting me to do his projects with him, but I declined, saying that I had to tutor my student. But he wouldn't listen to me and persuaded me that I ended up wasting a lot of time. Little did I know that this was part of a shady plan.

Hinamori was resting until she was awakened by a person opening a door.

"Hisagi-san?"

Some guys entered the room. They were planning to do something to Hinamori.

"Who are you?" she asked nervously, gripping her wooden sword.

"Don't worry, we're Hisagi-kun's friends."

I ran quickly to the Combat Arts room and saw Hinamori fighting three men, whom I recognized as my classmates.

"What are you doing to Hinamori?!" I yelled, drawing out my wooden sword. I charged, attempting to protect her until the leader pulled out a blade. A real sword. He attacked and I blocked. I managed to go through him and knock down one of his teamates. Two were left.

"Hisagi-san.."

"Don't worry, this'll be over soon." I said.

"Yes, this will be over soon!" yelled my opponent, who slashed blindly at me. The sword was aimed at my shoulder, but I dodged in the wrong way. The sword dealt a slash in my face, from my forehead running down to my chin. One eye was blinded.

I dropped my wooden sword and clutched my eye. I saw Hinamori. She was shivering in fear.

I was also shivering. But I made my decision that I would protect her.

Slowly, I picked up my wooden sword and tried to stand up. My opponent playfully pointed his blade towards my wounded eye. I gripped my wooden sword and attempted to attack him but he slashed my eye again. I didn't flinch. I stabbed him with my wooden sword. My vision was hazy because of the blood but I blindly tried to hit him again. His companion overpowered me and threw me to the ground. My opponent stood up and weakly slashed me in the same place for the third time.

"You're finished." he said as he pointed his blade at me.

The metal swung but I felt something block it.

It was Hinamori. She blocked the attack with her wooden sword.

"Hinamori.."

I saw the other man aiming for her back so I jumped up and fought him. We were now fighting back to back. Hinamori was fighting viciously, maybe because of rage.

We were in the middle of the fight when Abe-sensei entered the room. Everyone stopped.

"What are you all doing?!"

Then, he spotted my wounded eye and the bloodstained sword.

.

.

.

That incident was terrible for the Academy. My three classmates were expelled. I later found out that one of them wanted to have Hinamori, so they planned to take her by force.

We both drifted away from other people and sought comfort from each other. That was when we became the best of friends. These three scars on my face were the mark of our friendship.

By the end of the year, she was one of the best in Combat Arts. I proudly gazed at her while recieving her medallion. And because of her, I was able to graduate. I had no longer failed grades.

"Hisagi-san?" Hinamori called.

I woke up from my trance.

"You've been spacing out for a while. Were you thinking of something?" she added.

I hesitated a while before answering. Then, I nodded.

"Hey, where do they keep the wooden swords here?" I asked.

"Inside the baskets, just like before."

I stood up to fetch two wooden swords. I wanted to test her skills.

As I enter the storage room, I saw my old wooden sword. The one with the corroded ends. I picked it up and picked another sword for Hinamori.

"Hisagi-san, why are you.."

"You told me that you've improved in Combat Arts. Show me the evidence." I said as I threw the sword at her. She caught it and nodded.

Hinamori and I faced each other. She made her fighting stance, breathed a little and charged. Her speed has improved.

I blocked her attack and she jumped back to evade any upcoming attack. Her analyzing ability has improved.

I charged and she blocked my attack. I pushed harder and she broke the sword contact. In a second, she lashed at me. It was a good thing that I was able to dodge. Her strategy and offense has improved.

Her attacks kept on coming. Truthfully, it was pretty hard to block them all. I jumped back, far from her. She didn't come near me. Her judgement and hindsight has improved.

I made my move and she blocked again. This time, I was the one to block sword contact and abruptly striked her sword upward, which made her lose grip and sent the sword flying. I thought she was going to give up, but she used a force palm technique and hit me in the chest. I was pushed to the ground and the next thing I knew, she was pointing the wooden sword at me.

.

.

.

"You really improved." I proudly smiled, standing up.

Hinamori smiled humbly.

"It's really a great honor for my tutor to say that." she said.

I ruffled her hair. I guess my lessons didn't go to waste.

"One, two, three!" I exclaimed, clicking the camera. Out came a beautiful picture of Hinamori, standing behind the cherry blossom tree.

"May I see?"

I showed her the picture and she smiled contently. Then, she pestered me to take a picture, too. I know it wasn't really manly for a soldier to take a picture behind cherry blossoms, but I needed souveneirs, too.

"Smile, Hisagi-san!" she said. I smiled uneasily, resulting to a terribly embarrasing photo.

"Please delete that." I pleaded.

"No, this is a kind of remembrance. I'll look at it whenever I need some cheering up."

Okay, I was kind of insulted by that but never mind. Then, she said that we should take a picture together. We tried and out came a beautiful picture.

"Hey, let's print these." I suggested.

She nodded and we started to make way to the nearest store when the rain fell. We rushed to find shelter and stopped at a nearby cafe. Slightly wet, we decided to take more pictures. We took shots of the cafe, while eating cookies and donuts, and took stolen shots whenever the other wasn't looking.

It was 15:56. We were staying there for an hour, ordering all sorts of things and the rain hasn't let up. I didn't really like wasting time so I thought that we should just run. Hinamori wasn't really up for it so I took off my coat and gave it to her.

"Hisagi-san, are you really sure?" Hinamori asked, concerned.

"Don't worry, you won't get wet. The coat's super thick."

"No, what about you?"

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. I'm waterproof." I joked.

She smiled a little but insisted on sharing the coat with me. At first I declined, but even the shop owner chimed in our conversation. That made me lose.

"Alright, alright. Let's go." I said, holding the other part of the coat. Hinamori smiled warmly. Because I removed my coat, the armbands were revealed, which made her smile more.

We charged through the pouring rain. I noticed that we were the only people on the road. Soon enough, we spotted a photo printing shop. We hurried and entered the shop. The manager was really shocked to see a student and a soldier together, dripping wet. Hinamori handed him the camera and he began printing.

While the images were being printed, we laughed at them, teasing each other for the unbelievable faces we had in the pictures. Then, I saw that Hinamori took a lot of pictures while I was drinking my hot chocolate.

We printed almost 15 pictures. As the manager packaged them, the rain stopped.

I got out and felt the humid air. Hinamori followed suit and told me to look up.

My eyes widened with wonder as the sky revealed a beautiful rainbow, painted perfectly across the gray sky.

Hinamori and I went back to her house. Her parents recognized me and invited me to eat dinner. I accepted and hung my coat to dry. By 17:00 we ate dinner, which consisted of some grilled fish and vegetables. She even threw in some vienna sausage, which were my favorite food. Her parents asked me a lot of questions. It felt like an interview. During the most awkward questions, I just looked at Hinamori and smiled like an idiot. Someday, when Hinamori and I get into a relationship, I guess her parents will ask more serious questions. I left their house at 17:51. Hinamori asked permission to stay with me until I leave.

.

.

.

"Hinamori, I'll be leaving at 20:00, which is 8:00 in the evening." I told her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Fighting Spirit**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any character from Bleach.**

**Chapter 8: Last Words**

"I only have 2 hours left." I said.

She nodded, but her face wasn't smiling anymore.

"Hey, don't give me that face. I'll be back in June." I reassured her.

She nodded again. I guess my words weren't enough to bring back the smile I always admired.

.

.

"Is there any place you want to go?" Hinamori asked.

I stopped in my tracks and pondered for a while. Only one answer came to my mind.

.

.

"My house." I answered.

...

"Hello, anyone here?" I knocked. Hinamori was standing behind me, kind of shy.

It took a full three minutes before my mother answered. She smiled and let in.

"Will you be staying for the night?" she asked.

"No, I'll leave in an hour." I said.

Hinamori wasn't budging. She just stood frozen in her place.

"Oh, mother, this is Hinamori Momo. A friend of mine." I added.

My mother looked at the shy girl behind me and smiled.

"Come in."

I've been to Hinamori's place a lot of times but I guess I never had the chance to invite her here and introduce her to my parents.

We were both inside the living room and my mother served tea. I smiled, thinking that it was a while ever since I drank my favorite tea.

"Where's father?"

"In the dining room."

Immediately, I stood up, heading for the dining room. I spotted my father.

…

"Father, I'm home." I said quietly, opening the door.

"Welcome home." he responded, without even looking at me. I guess he wasn't really bothered by my absence.

I just stood there, expecting anything. But I guess it was impossible to extract a word from my father, so I turned to leave.

I wanted him to stop me. Just say anything.

But he didn't. Not even one word.

.

.

"I just went here to greet y'all an advance merry Christmas." I said.

No response. Nothing.

I was halfway in the hallway when I met my mother.

"I just came to greet you an advance merry Christmas."

She just smiled.

I grabbed Hinamori and put on my shoes.

"You're leaving already?" my mother asked.

"Yes." I replied, about to shut the door.

"Have you seen your uncle Kensei?"

"Yes, he's fine, don't worry." I said, shutting the door behind me.

I made fast steps to get away from this place. I've always hated this place.

I shouldn't have come here.

.

.

.

I kept walking with Hinamori trudging behind me. I was clearly in a bad mood.

I took a quick look from my watch. 18:39. I couldn't believe how much time I wasted on that stupid place. Now, I had to walk to the bus stop, where the bus would pick me up. I guess the bus would pick me up on 20:10 or the like.

...

There it is. The bus stop.

I sat on the bench and saw Hinamori standing from a distance. I signalled for her to come here and she walked towards me hesitantly.

"I sort of don't like this place." she muttered.

"Don't worry, me too." I replied rather roughly.

...

"Hisagi-san, you aren't really close with your parents, are you?" she asked.

"Never." I replied.

"I see." she whispered, fidgeting uncomfortably in her seat. "Do they send you letters?"

"No, you're the only one who sends me letters."

"Okay."

.

.

.

"Do you feel lonely whenever you're in the army?"

"When I don't recieve your letters."

She nodded.

.

.

.

"After this, I'm gonna be transferred to another place so wait for my letters." I said.

"Why?" she asked. Worry was etched in her face.

"Because I'm too good to be stationed in the old camp." I half-lied. "All the top soldiers get to be transferred to the other camp."

She smiled widely.

"As expected from my great tutor, Hisagi Shuhei."

I smiled weakly.

She'll be devastated if she learns the truth.

"Congratulations and I'll wait for your promotion, Captain Hisagi." she smiled.

"H-hey, I can't be a captain that quickly." I said.

"Alright," she squealed, "First-class Private Hisagi."

"I think you mean Private First-class Hisagi."

"Alright. By June, I'd be calling you that."

"Maybe."

We laughed. Her gentle voice makes my heart feel lighter and lighter everytime. I don't want to leave. I really don't want to leave her side ever again. If it were up to me..

I'd stay with her forever.

.

.

.

But what if the war spreads..?

That was the only reason for me to return to the army.

I will do my best to end the war in the East.

I will not let her get exposed to the slightest danger.

I will protect the country.

And my Hinamori Momo.

I swear with the pride of a soldier.

.

.

.

"Hey, how's Hitsugaya?" I asked once again.

"We're still friends." she replied.

"Tell me if you have a problem with him, alright?" I said, smiling.

"That'll never happen 'cause I'm not interested in him." she responded. "And I'm too young for that."

I looked at her and thought for a while.

"You're 16 years old, right?"

"Yes."

I leaned closer to her.

"Hinamori-kun, you're at the right age." I told her.

"I know, but I haven't found someone that I like."

I rolled my eyes and nodded silently.

.

.

.

I looked at my watch. 19:27

_Say it, Shuhei._

.

.

.

"You know what, it's normal to think about romance sometimes, but it shouldn't get in the way of your studies."

She nodded.

"I'm not the kind of person you could depend on with these problems." I shyly said, "I haven't experienced having a relationship."

"But you really give good advice."

I smiled.

.

.

.

19:31

_Say it, you idiot._

.

.

.

"I'll miss you Hinamori." I muttered.

"I'll miss you, too." was her quick reply.

.

.

.

19:39

_Go on, Shuhei._

.

.

.

"Remember what I said about you being at the right age?"

She nodded.

"Why?"

"Nothing." I said.

.

.

.

19:44

_Tell her, Shuhei._

_._

_._

_._

"You'll wait for me, wouldn't you?" I asked out of the blue.

"Yes, six months is just a short time."

"Yeah."

.

.

.

19:53

_Say it._

_Say it before the bus arrives..!_

_Only you can say it!_

_Tell her what you really feel..!_

_._

_._

"I can't.."

.

.

_Nothing is worse than regret..!_

.

.

"Hisagi-san..?" Hinamori asked, looking at me in the most concerned way. "Are you feeling well?"

I nodded.

.

.

Three words.

That can either take our relationship to a whole new level.

Or make her hate me forever.

.

.

.

I could hear bus engines coming this way. Hinamori was looking uneasy. I close my eyes and breathe.

.

.

"Hinamori.."

As she turns to me, I motion my head to meet hers and press my lips slightly against hers. Her eyes were obviously wide and her face feels hot. I wrap my arms around her and remove all things from my mind.

I break the kiss and look at the road.

To my horror, it was just an ordinary passenger bus.

The time, 19:58.

The bus left and we were filled with awkward silence.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"I'm sorry." I said, shaking with guilt.

Hinamori didn't respond. I noticed that she was shaking nervously.

"Hey, don't cry..!" I almost yelled, when I saw tears welling in the corner of her eyes.

_Damn it, Shuhei. I said tell her what you feel.._

_Not do it!_

She shook her head violently, indicating she was alright.

.

.

.

"I'm sorry..I.."

She tilted her head towards me, but didn't look at me in the eye.

"I.."

"I love you, Hinamori."

.

.

.

.

"I love you too, Hisagi-san."

My eyes widened as I heard those words from her.

"Hinamori.."

"I love you too, so please don't go.." she pleaded. Now, her tears were uncontrollable.

I crept closer and embraced her, rubbing her back.

"It's alright.. I'll be back. I promise.."

"I know you don't like it there.." she continued, "But why do you want to go?"

"I need to because there are lots of things I need to learn. I need to learn how to become a better soldier. So I can protect you."

"But you're already a good fighter.."

"To protect you, I need to become a better fighter." I said, "And I need to earn money."

She embraced me tightly, burying her face into my neck.

I could feel her emotions clearly. I can feel her worry and fear.

"I promise, after I earn money, I'll leave the army and find a better job. The kind you'll approve of."

She nodded slightly.

"And when you graduate from college, I'll marry you."

She let out a shy smile. I let go of her and wiped her tears.

"Before I leave, give me that smile." I said, "That smile I've always admired."

It took her a while before Hinamori managed to smile. I leaned forward and kissed her in the forehead.

I heard bus engines from a distance. I'm sure that it was for real.

"Hey, before I leave, can you kiss me?"

Hinamori blushed.

"Aw, c'mon. Just a little kiss."

.

.

"Close your eyes first, Hisagi-san."

I closed my eyes and felt her face growing closer to mine. In anticipation, I pulled her towards me, which made our kiss faster.

.

.

"Wait for me, okay?" I said, alighting the bus.

She nodded.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too." she replied, smiling.

I made my way to my seat and peered at the window. I saw Hinamori standing still.

She wasn't smiling.

She was breaking down into tears.

Subconsciously, I did too. Tears fell from my eyes.

.

.

.

The war will start from here.


	9. Chapter 9

**Fighting Spirit**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any character from Bleach.**

**Chapter 9: Vs. Arrancar Army**

The bus reached the east. The city was uncomfortably quiet. Like someone was about to shoot us down.

Thank goodness we were sent to base safely. Abarai was the only person I knew well, aside from my other companions in training. I was pretty lonesome when I learned that Kira wasn't going with us.

The General was standing before us. He was giving a final speech before we were being sent to battle. I didn't pay much attention. My mind was focused on how to survive, and yet defeat as many enemies as possible. I don't care how long I'm going to stay in the battlefield. As long as the war doesn't spread.

"The public doesn't know that the war has already started." said the general, "So we must do everything we can to prevent the war from spreading.."

I will do everything.

"Do not cry over split milk. Do not attempt to rescue anyone whom you think is too injured to fight."

My eyes widened. What..? How could a general say that..?!

Subconsciously, my lips began to move.

"Why?" I blurted out.

Everyone stared at me. Even the officers.

"Because we cannot afford to risk ourselves for someone who is unable to fight." the general said, "And watch your mouth, soldier."

"..."

The general resumed his instructions and I resumed into thinking. In a matter of seconds, we were going into battle.

"Let us all do our best in defeating the Arrancar army. I pray for your success!"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

And now, day 1 begins.

The enemies have infiltrated the eastern border. Fortunately, we outnumbered them, but they were pretty fierce. They killed a lot of us.

I didn't want to kill.

But I had to.

I was a sniper, so we really had to kill a lot.

And we weren't moving by ourselves. We were being commanded by a sergeant whether to fire or not.

The only thing we had freedom in was to choose our target.

We were feeling pretty sore, not being able to rest or eat, or even go to the bathroom or drink water for a whole 29 hours. We were given a 4 hour break after that. I ate, drank as much as I could handle for an hour and slept away the 3 hours.

**Day 2**

"Fire!"

We pulled our triggers and fired our guns. Another 4 enemies were killed. I don't know how long will this last.

As usual, we done this for at least 20 hours.

**Day 3**

Finally, we were made to sleep for at least 5 hours. It was hard to sleep with all the gunshots outside. As we eat our breakfast, we quickly run out of the makeshift camps to our stations. The number of enemies were slowly decreasing. I guess we can bear with this for another day. Maybe by day 5, this will all be over.

**...**

_Hinamori,_

_How are you? I hope everything's fine there. Sorry if it took me a while to send a letter. I was really busy. Don't worry about me. I'm really doing fine._

_I feel pretty lonely in the new place. I don't have anyone to talk to. I miss you so much._

_Hisagi Shuhei_

...

**Day 4**

Everything going well, if you can call it that. Everything was moving as usual. I was getting used to this. Whenever we had some free time, I would just look at the picture which never left my chest pocket. The picture Hinamori and I took behind the cherry blossoms.

**Day 5**

My everyday melody consisted of gunshots and yelling people. I guess the enemies sent reinforcements. There were more of them now. I wanted it to end. Really, after this, I'll quit the army.

Day 6, 7, 8, and 9 were all the same. It's really stressful and frustrating.

**Day 10**

A carrier pidgeon arrived with a letter wrapped in it's foot. It was for me. I hid the letter, leaving it to be read later. I resumed our 20 hour work and at rest, I read it in the privacy of my makeshift camp.

_.._

_Hisagi-san,_

_Everything's fine here, though my Christmas break is pretty lonely without you. Are you wearing the scarf? It's getting pretty cold now. Take care of your health, alright?_

_I miss you too._

_Oh yeah, there's one picture missing in the collection of images we printed. Do you have any idea where it is?_

_Hinamori Momo_

...

Hurriedly, I wrote a reply.

_..._

_Hinamori,_

_If you're referring to the picture of us behind the cherry blossoms, it's with me. I kept it as a souveneir. Just something to remind me of you._

_As for the scarf, I wear it while I sleep. Because of that, I always dream of you._

_Hisagi Shuhei_

...

**Day 11**

The unexpected happened. Two people ambushed us. One was a blonde Frenchman and the other had pink hair. The pink-haired man introduced himself as Brigadier General Szayel Aporro Granz. He attacked us, but with a stroke of luck, Abarai and our other teamate with glasses were able to hold him off. The blonde man introduced himself as Lieutenant Findorr Carias. In our encounter, they killed our commander and one of our teamates. Findorr just attacked me and nobody else. I guess he's got something against me. I tried to shoot him but he was unbelievably fast that he was able to dodge bullets. He tackled me and sent me rolling down the hill and into the battlefield. That was the most terrifying experience of my life. Findorr came down and pursued me. He fired bullets at me while running but I managed to escape them all. Except that a bullet grazed me in my leg. Nothing serious, but it hindered my speed. I hid in the storage room and treated my wounded leg. After that, I looked for some weapons. I saw some guns, but they didn't have any bullets. In my hurry, I knocked down a crate which exposed odd-looking twin schythes joined by a chain. I inspected it carefully and managed to see a lightly engraved name.

"Kazeshini.."

Probably the owner's name or the weapon's.

...

As I emerge from the room, my eyes widen to see some of my comrades, lying on the battlefield, dead. And I also saw some of the enemies from the Arrancar army, continuing the fight, attempting to kill more of our kind. In anger, I gripped the Kazeshini and threw it at one soldier. The blade cut off his arm and fell to the ground. My bloodstained weapon returned to me.

.

.

So this is the Kazeshini's real potential..


	10. Chapter 10

**Fighting Spirit**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any character from Bleach.**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Final Moments**

I look at the weapon in my hands. It's murderous and bloodstained. The blade itself is death.

"Don't be intimidated by that weapon." called a familiar voice.

It was Lt. Findorr Carias, my previous enemy.

I grip my weapon tight as he walks towards me, with a gun in hand. I could tell he was about to shoot any minute.

.

.

The gun explodes. I jump away and throw my weapon at the blond man in front of me. He smiles wickedly jumps away, too. I withdraw my schythe and aim for him again. Findorr shoots again and I use my blade to block it. The cycle continues until I notice the sheathed rapier, suspended on his swordbelt.

And I realize something.

I grip the adjoining chain and throw my scythe at him. I aim for his gun.

Findorr cringes and jumps back.

I smirk.

"Hey, you." I call, "Why aren't you using your sword?"

He doesn't answer and points his gun at me. No use, I thought. I throw my schythe again and he dodges, cancelling his attack.

I was right. He was scared of the weapon, too.

"No use, Lieutenant." I yell, "This weapon is made for long distance battles!"

The blond flashes an irritated face and shoots again. I throw my weapon again and the bullet gets trapped within the chain's segments. The schythe was coming after him and I manage to slash his chest. But it became scarier than expected. The sharp piece of metal latched itself into Findorr's chest and if I pull it away, I would be seeing something brutal. But my opponent was already crying in pain and anger, with blood dribbling from the side of his mouth.

"What are you waiting for..?" he coughed, "Do it now..!"

I really didn't intend to kill this guy neither did I want to torture him. I was pulled out from my trance when I heard a massive gunshot.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Warm. I felt something warm inside me, attempting to come out.

Blood. Blood was flowing freely from my chest.

I turn back and see a man pointing a gun at me.

"I can't believe you got defeated, Findorr." he said as he turned his back on me, leaving.

I get it.

I get it now.

The soldier was behind me all the time. Findorr ordered him to shoot at me.

"What are you waiting for..Do it now!"

.

.

.

Air. I feel like I was at the top of a mountain. The air is getting thinner and thinner.

With my dying strength, I pull out my treasure.

My photograph with Hinamori, smiling behind the cherry blossom trees.

Now punctured and stained with my fresh, warm blood.

.

.

"Hey, what's that.." asked Findorr.

.

.

"My girl.." I coughed.

Findorr smiled haughtily.

"You know..Those who talk about their girl while in war.."

.

.

"Gets killed earlier than the others.."

I was losing time. With the last breath I say my final words.

"I..love you, Hinamori Momo."


	11. Chapter 11

**Fighting Spirit**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Bleach.**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Goodbye**

_Hinamori Momo's POV_

I managed to wait for 6 months. I have finished my school year with honors.

I can't wait for Hisagi-san to go home.

...

I tuck myself in my blanket, ready to sleep. I say my prayers and close my eyes.

.

.

.

.

I wake up in the middle of the night by someone shaking me awake. I rub my eyes and look up.

"Who is it..?"

My drowziness leave me as I see the one I was waiting for.

Hisagi-san.

"Hinamori, I'm back." he smiles.

"W-what time is it..How did you get in here..?"

He just smiles and leaves an old, beat-up package by my side table. From the looks of it, it must be already opened by a lot of people.

"Sorry for waking you up. Time for you to sleep again." he said while leaning down to kiss me in my forehead. I smile warmly and wave goodbye as he leaves the room.

"Sleep well. I love you."

"I love you too, Hisagi-san.."

...

The warm morning sun wakes me up. I rise in bed and remember Hisagi-san. Was it all just a dream? No, the package is still there, resting atop on my side table.

As I reach for the package, my mother calls me to come down.

"Momo-chan, come down quick. There are some men searching for you."

I smile with excitement. Maybe they have some news about Hisagi-san.

I change clothes and reach for the package. Then, I run downstairs in excitement.

As I reach the living room, I see two men, drinking tea.

One blond male and a redhead. Both in their army uniforms. I smile as I recognize the other. The blond must be Kira-san, Hisagi-san's best friend.

The two men turn their heads towards me as I smile.

"You are Hinamori-san..?" the blond inquires.

I nod.

"You must be Kira-san. Hisagi-san always talks about you." I said.

He smiles.

"My name is Kira Izuru and this is Abarai Renji." he said, pointing to his companion. "We have to inform you about Hisagi.."

"Yes, he's returned, right? He was here last night." I smiled.

My eyebrows raised as I noticed the shocked expression in both men's faces. They were whispering to each other.

"Uh.." Abarai-san stammered, "Are you sure about that, Hinamori-san?"

"Yes." I nodded, "He even gave me this package."

Their eyes widened as they whisper to each other and scan their backpacks carefully.

"C-could I take a look at that, please?" Kira asked.

I handed him the package. He scanned it carefully.

"It's..This is it, but how.."

"Um, is there something wrong?" I asked.

They shook their heads and gave me the package.

"About Hisagi.." Abarai started.

"Has he been promoted?" I asked cheerfully.

"Yes.." the readhead continued. "Promoted to Private First-class."

I smiled widely.

"I knew it..! Like what I expected.."

Through my happiness, I noticed that the two's facial expressions stayed the same.

"Kira-san, Abarai-san.." I asked, intimidated by their aura. "Is there something wrong?"

It took a while before they answered.

"That package.." Kira stuttered, "Hisagi told me to deliver that to you, but I guess he wanted to give that to you personally."

Abarai cleared his throat as he started to make his confession.

"Hinamori-san..Hisagi is.."

His voice was slightly breaking.

"Is.."

"Hisagi died six months ago..In the battlefield."

...

"What.." I stuttered. "How could he die in the battlefield..T-there..I.."

"Hisagi was stationed in the east, where the war started." Kira continued.

"War..?" I asked.

"Yes. The army withheld the information from the public. The Arrancar army had invaded the east and the army sent back-up. The best soldiers-in-training.."

"Hisagi and I were part of them." Abarai added. "He knew we might die in battle, so he pleaded a one-day vacation from the higher-ups. We're grateful that Hisagi had the courage to ask something like that."

"One day vacation.." I muttered. That was when the time when he visited me.

"Hinamori-san..That package is Hisagi's final gift to you." Kira cut in. "He gave it to me in case something bad happened to him. I didn't expect this, the way that idiot was, but.."

My hands tremble as tears well up in the corner of my eyes. I look up and see Kira-san shedding a little of his own. Abarai's hands were clenched into fists.

"Hisagi-san was holding one bloodstained picture before he died." Abarai said, handing the photo to me. Placed inside plastic wrap, I saw the picture. He and I smiling happily together, behind the cherry blossoms. I took the picture and gripped it.

"W-why.." I mumbled, "Why did you guys take it from him.."

Abarai-san looked away.

"You should've buried this with him." I said, giving it back to the redhead. It took a while before the man responded.

"Hinamori-san.." he said, "If you believe Hisagi would be happier with this picture, you do it yourself. We would be more than willing to escort you to his grave."

I couldn't take it anymore. My eyes hurt and I couldn't breathe anymore. I snatched the picture and ran off to my room. I buried my face in my pillow and wailed.

.

.

.

When I cried, Hisagi-san was always there to rub my back or offer me a handkerchief when we were students.

No one will ever be the same.

Flashbacks of memories with Hisagi-san ran into my mind.

.

.

"_My name is Hisagi Shuhei and I'll be your tutor in Combat Arts_."

_"Hey, don't cry. I'll send you letters every now and then."_

_"We have a one day vacation, so I came to see you."_

_"You're the only one who sends me letters."_

_"I love you, Hinamori"_

.

.

All those memories turned into water which escaped my eyes. I remembered the package. I reached out to it weakly. It was heavy. I opened it and saw a some cassette tapes, with a letter.

_To my dearest_

_Hisagi Momo,_

_If you're reading this letter, it probably means that I'm dead or either Kira just made a stupid mistake, thinking I'm dead or Kira is just messing with me (or you)._

I laughed a little. Hisagi-san really wanted me to laugh, even if he wasn't around.

_Anyway, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for leaving you behind. I'm sorry for breaking my promise, and breaking your heart. I'm sorry for lying to you in the letters I've sent. Back in the army, I wasn't okay. My body was always beat up because of the exercises and I always got into trouble. Most of the time, I stay up late because of worry.I felt my life had no meaning. I questioned myself and everyone. I was even depressed during my first month in there. The instructors didn't like me all that much and sometimes, I wanted to kill myself. I didn't know what a soldier's duty was and I didn't have anything to fight for, which I later discovered that it was 're that one thing I fight for. But sometimes, I get scared, thinking you'd forget me._

_Then again, I'm sorry for the pain I caused you and for the tears you wasted._

_I hope you don't get angry at me. Believe me, I really don't want to die. I'd do anything just to be with you again but fate's really hard on me. We have no choice to accept it. Hey, I appreciate the fact that you really miss me, but I hope you don't harden your heart. Y'know that I'm not the only good-looking man on earth (haha) but even if I myself don't like it, there'll be someone for you. Someone more good-looking, someone kinder, someone who's more comfortable to be with. But it doesn't change the fact that I had your first kiss. _

_Please be alright. And don't you dare think of committing suicide, you idiot! Always take care of yourself and even if you can't see me, I'll always be watching over you. Whoever hurts you will face the wrath of the dead Hisagi Shuhei!_

_I'm kinda disappointed that I wasn't able to marry you, but I'm alright. At least I know that you'll be happier with the one you'll marry. If I may suggest on the person you'll marry, he shouldn't be a soldier. He'll probably remind me of you. Or die early. It'll be better if you forget me but I'll never forget you, ever! I promise I'll never flirt with an angel up here, okay? But if I do meet you again, I hope we get married._

_Hinamori, I want to thank you for everything you gave me. The values I've learned, the precious memories I had, the wonderful friendship, that delicious supper with you and your family, this warm scarf and new armbands and the inspiration you gave me through your letters. Your words were the one that gave me the will to fight and to live. Thank you for my first love and first kiss. Thank you for the life._

_Once again, I bid farewell, though permanently. I'd appreciate if you'd drop by my grave sometimes and still send me letters. If you feel really lonely, listen to my voice recordings, or try to talk to them, if you don't mind looking insane. I hope this is all enough for you to be happy. Without me._

_I love you._

_Hisagi Shuhei_

...

My tears drip as I remember my dearest. I spill the envelope's contents and see photographs of him. Hisagi-san in his full army uniform, a picture of his batch, a picture with Kira-san and Abarai-san, with him smiling widely. A picture of him sleeping.

Kira-san must've done this.

And a picture of him wearing his scarf, almost embracing it. But one thing that surprised me is the envelope's hidden content. Deep inside it was a pouch, taped securely. As I empty it, my eyes grew wide as I count.

"270,000 yen.."

This must be his retirement pay.

I shoved it back in the pouch and grabbed my stereo to play a tape. I played the tape labeled 'bluffing'.

...

"_Hiya, Momo-chan,"_

"Momo-chan..?" I muttered. It was the first time he called me by first name.

_"Got something to bluff about?"_

A pause. I guess he was waiting for me to answer.

_"Really, now? Congratulations. Got more?"_

"N-no." I answered.

_"I see. Well, I've got something to bluff about, too."_

"What?" I asked.

_"It's about my dearest girlfriend. She's a real catch. She's really cute, nice, caring, understanding and everything a guy wants in a girl. Oh yeah, her name is Hinamori Momo."_

I slightly smile as Hisagi-san goes on, talking about me.

_"She's all I need to bluff about. Bye now."_

Stop.

I played all tapes. There were ones labeled 'thanking', 'happy', 'sad', 'problem', 'missing', 'goodmorning', 'goodnight', 'scared', 'angry', 'congratulations', 'hinamori's birthday', 'my birthday' and 'for hinamori only'. The tapes played Hisagi-san's voice, attempting to strike a conversation with me with the corresponding emotions. My favorite was the 'for hinamori only', because I could realy feel Hisagi-san feeling nervous while saying 'I love you'. They made me smile a lot, but I still missed the original Hisagi Shuhei. The one who'd ruffle my hair when he greeted me 'happy birthday.' The one who'd raise his eyebrows whenever I bragged about something. The one who kisses me on my forehead while tucking me in bed. And the one who kisses me while saying 'I love you'.

"Private First-class Hisagi Shuhei.." I muttered while holding up the bloodstained picture of us over a candle, "I hope you recieve our picture."

I watched as the picture blackened and reduce to ashes. The wind carried the ashes away.

"Hisagi's recieving it alright." Kira said.

I knelt at his tombstone and whispered all sorts of things.

"Shuhei-san, I received everything you sent. I like the letter very much, though it did made me cry.." I mumbled as I wiped the tears escaping.

"And I also received the money. What do you want me to do with it?"

"Ne, Shuhei.. I also like the video tapes.. It's like talking to you in real life.."

I was choking on my tears. But brushed them away.

"Shuhei, I promise I'll visit you here once a week and send you letters.." I said, "It's definitely alright if you don't reply.."

As Kira tries to pat my back I start to wail loudly.

"I'll miss you, Shuhei..!"

My mother and father pull me away, though they were shedding tears, too.

.

.

.

"Goodbye..I love you." I cried.

**Finally, the story's done. Poor Hinamori.**

**Anyway, I didn't mean to kill Hisagi, so don't kill me!**

**Oh yeah, watch out for my bonus chapter.**

** -Char Tomio**


	12. Bonus Chapter

**Bonus Chapter :3**

I was lined up with my other classmates for an assembly. I didn't really know what that was for, but I had to.

"Good morning." a senior said, as he cleared his throat.

He has glossy dark brown hair and sharp eyes. A distinctive feature of his is the 69 tatoo adorning his cheek.

I observed my surroundings. Everyone was talking about him. I asked my classmate Kira Izuru, a blonde-haired boy about the senior standing in front of us.

"Oh, he's Hisagi Shuhei-senpai." he replied nonchalantly, "Pretty famous among the girls."

"I can see why, but why are the guys talking about him, too..?!"

"Because they said that he's strong." my redheaded classmate Abarai Renji cut in.

"Really..?"

"Yeah, he's strong." said Kira-kun, "But he failed the entrance exams a lot of times, because of his inexperience in Kido. Which means I'm better than him."

I giggled a little and looked back at Hisagi-senpai.

Basing on his appearance, he doesn't look friendly. He looks like a serious person.

"I'll be guiding you guys with fighting Hollows some time later." he continued. "Best of luck for all of us."

I looked at him intently. I don't know, but he seems so familiar.. Like he was important to me in some way..

Before leaving, he glances at me intently.

Our eyes meet and something tells me that I've really seen him before.


End file.
